Wednesday, April 26

Music

What is it about music that is so dang amazing? I mean, obviously we enjoy music because God Himself enjoys music, namely through the praises of His creation. I just can't comprehend its power. I've always wondered why it has been such a stumbling block to me, music that is. Whenever I get extremely depressed about something, I listen to a CD that has deep wailing pitifying vocals that make me cry crocodile tears. Or even music that sounds upbeat yet at the same time describing horrible events that drag me down into pits of melancholy. I listen to music that makes me want to jump out of a window, resurrect, and jump out again. And I absolutely love it! I even listen to sad music when I have nothing to be sad about, especially while I drive, and as I listen to it I sing it as loud as I can holding back the tears as best I can, just driving and singing and crying. Those times have been some of the best times of my life. These words fail at capturing the soulful death and life seeping forth from the radio speakers. As much as I love crazy-hard scream your lungs out breakdown chugga chugga bassy head splitting music, I could never replace the bands that I listen to, the bands that breathe out arms to comfort my trembling and shaking body as they reassuredly hold me, connotating feelings of "I know man, I know...". As much as I love Evans/Coltrane/Jarrett/Mingus jazz and melodic majestic symphony's and Mendelssohn Piano Concerto's and Bach's sweet beautiful Cello Suite's and soaring church choral masses, I could never trade in the songs that make me cry, make me weep in sadness. The songs that make me mourn never-had-lovers, dream about beautiful girls that told me to fuck off, and better times lost in the past, these songs are an energy source for me, a source that keeps me moving forward all the while driving me into Sheol with it. Why can't I seem to find the same comfort and joy from the Word of God? It is rife with comfort in sadness, comfort in happiness, comfort in God. Blessed is Nathan who mourns, for he will be comforted. The Bible invented comfort for the mourners, yet I don't go to it. Well, there is always something to overcome and I'll have no problem with this one. I'll go to the Doc for some Prozac as soon as I can...just kidding...

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