Monday, January 24

remember

Day by day and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials here; Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, I've no cause for worry or for fear. He whose Heart is kind beyond all measure, give unto each day what He deems best; Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure, mingling toil with peace and rest.

Ev'ry day the Lord Himself is near me with a special mercy for each hour; All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me, He whose name is Counselor and Pow'r. The protection of His child and treasure, is a charge that on Himself He laid; "As your days, your strength shall be in measure," this the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in ev'ry tribulation, so to trust Your promises, O Lord; That I lose not faith's sweet consolation, offered me within Your holy Word. Help me Lord when toil and trouble meeting, e'er to take , as from a Father's hand, one by one, the days, the moments fleeting, till I reach the promised land.

-Lina Sandell Berg (1832- 1903), Sweden

Saturday, January 22

Postin' and Toastin'... well, not really toastin'

Mark today as a day, a good day.
I don't know why I am posting right now, but I am pretty sure that it's because for quite a while I have had this huge burden on my back. This burden has been calling to me, scratching me, whispering in my ear(which was pretty annoying), and doing all sorts of random stupid things that have distracted me. The burden goes by the name of, "Post on your blog" and it has a knack for relentlessly aggravating the brain. It has a few friends named, "finish your paper" and "practice your Cello", but "Post on your blog" is the most annoying, by far. So I have given in to him and I pray that this satisfies his desire for a while.
For those of you who care what goes on in my life or what I am doing at the present the following, I hope, will interest you. School is beast. I had to drop my AP History because I couldn't handle it along with my regular History class and all my other subjects. I am a little dissapointed in myself, but I trust that with 15 less pages to read, 3 less essays to do, and 1 less class to attend I will be able to focus on my other subjects and bring my grades in them up to the point I know I have the capability of achieving. My cello has taken a turn for the wonderful, now that I got offically told off by my teacher, who made me realize that I have been "half-butting" my Cello study for far too long. I devote 30-45 min a day to it and so far I have had no time management problems and I further my knowledge of, and appreciation for the Cello every lesson. I continue to participate in sports, I joined the basketball team. Um, I don't really like basketball at all, but I joined the team because they needed another person, I happen to be tall, and I thought that it would be a good example of putting others before yourself. Meaning that if I didn't join the team I would be sinning. I really had no reason to not join it. It would have been extremely selfish for me not to and God blessed us with our first win on our first game of the season this past Friday. See, God shows his gratitude to those who serve Him. Our school's first win in a sport in 3 years, to Him be the glory. I continue to read books, whether it be Academia or Theology. I basicly have every book published by Canon Press and I would love to list them all for you here, but I won't. I recently bought this book by Joshua Harris called "Boy Meets Girl". I was skeptical at first, but I kind of like it, it does a good job of slapping you in the face, and I am one who responds well to that. I read my Bible faithfully as well as pray and my life is so much the better for it. All in all life is good and I am enjoying the life of a 16 year old very much.
I will get my license shortly and I should be getting a job at In n' Out soon. Over 9 bucks an hour, heck yes. For someone who lives with their parents and who doesn't really need to buy their food for themselves or all the other things, that means alot of money for savings and alot of money for books!
For those who wonder how life with Brittany Murray rolls, it rolls smoothly. Although we are rolling backwards, which is very good. I am only 16, she is only 16. We aren't courting. Her dad doesn't want her in a relationship, yet. My dad doesnt want me in a relationship, yet. God needs to be the focus in our lives. School needs to be a focus in our lives. I have no clue what I am going to do for a living. I don't know where I want to go to college. So, with all of that how am I supposed to keep a relationship that needs to progress towards marriage in play? The answer, I'm not! Emotion blinds a junk load of things that shouldn't be blinded. I should have realized a long time ago that we weren't called to be boy and girlfriend right now, and even though I never referred to her as that I still thought in terms of that. A relationship cannot be the primary focus in my life, or her's, right now. We are called to be students and called to devote our energy to that. There were times when I didn't do homework because I wanted to talk to her. That was wrong. I wasn't doing her any good by devoting myself to her then and I still wouldn't be now. I was, in a sense, leading her to believe things that I couldn't promise I would be able to do. So, by putting the other things first that her and I and need to do, we are both serving each other and devoting oursleves to each other in the way that God calls us to. She has taught me so much and she still continues to, but I realized that I am in no way serving her by "idolizing" her or making her first and foremost in my life, that is reserved for God, but rather I am misleading her (and myself) in to a false sense of commitment that we aren't supposed to have with each other, right now. It's very hard to not let emotion and "romance" come in to play, but right now they just need to sit on the bench. I still value our friendship as one of the best I have and I continue to pray that she excels in her academics and grows in the Lord and I look forward to where she will be in a few years. So yes, we still talk to each other, but it's quite different than it was before and we have no purpose at the moment, other than becoming better and better friends and praying for our every day struggles with homework and whatever else. Wow, ok, this is a long post. Sorry you had to read all that, but if I left anything unsaid that I should have touched on please let me know and I am really honored that you persevered through this. Thanks so much.
Nathan

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